Friday, August 8, 2008

Are relationships too hard?



I'm sure it's not news when I say the divorce rate is up, and that infidelity is skyrocketing. I have also heard people say "well that was her first marriage, and you know those never work" but why? I came across Is Marriage Hard of course on psychology today and it was perfect, and I though amusing. It said

In fact, marriage is only hard for those who:
• Try to make their partners into someone they are not
• Believe they have superior rights, tastes, preferences, beliefs, or morality
• Are unwilling to use binocular vision to see their partner's perspectives alongside their own
• Are convinced that their partners are selfish, mentally ill, or defective
• Are unwilling to admire their partners' strengths and regard their vulnerabilities with compassion and support
• Are unwilling to appreciate the value and meaning their partner's add to their lives.

This right here says it all, if your a selfish person that only sees one point of view (your own) then you are not going to be happy with anyone but yourself. All relationships can be difficult it does require you to have an open mind, be compassionate, patient, and compromising. You are never always going to see eye to eye with anyone other than yourself, and if you don't believe that you are living in a fairy tale and have committed all of your relationships to failure. Relationships are only as difficult as you make them, my boyfriend and I have all different beliefs, likes, and dislikes but we support each other no matter what they are.

Another problem is everyone is in a rush, we have to get married, we have to have kids, we have to do this, but why do we have to do it as soon as possible? It can take years to get to know someone and be comfortable enough with a person to let your inner most secrets out. So why do people think that after 6 months of knowing someone they can just hop on the train of matrimony and everything is going to work out? Take your time, get to know each other make sure you have enough in common, but have some differences to keep things interesting if you do that then it shouldn't be hard, but that doesn't mean you won't hit a speed bump or two =)

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